I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize