what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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