i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
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I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
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I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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