If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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