I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize