I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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