you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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