i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize