There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
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Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
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How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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