Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize