you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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