road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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