dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize