i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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