somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
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what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
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Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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