My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize