so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize