i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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