I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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