We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
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you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
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Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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