you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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