Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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