i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize