we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
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You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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