What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
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Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
that may or may not have been my penis.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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