I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
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On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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