dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize