Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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