By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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