Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
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