You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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