No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
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It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
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He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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