So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize