We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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