Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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