if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
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The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
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Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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