this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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