I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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