Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
sarcasm needs its own font
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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