Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize