Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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