we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
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he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
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I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
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