And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
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just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
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Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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