would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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