I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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