He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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