Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize