This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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