real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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