To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize